and if the shoe doesn't fit?

The transition is not easy. Deciding to stay at home and be a mum is a breeze but standing by it and doing the chores is a roller coaster ride. My back aches, my legs and shoulder blades feel sore, and I cannot do any of my hobbies at all, no scrapbooking, no digiscrapbooking either, no learning photography, no cross stitching, and no time to start beading. No free time, most meals I do not enjoy, bath time is a rush, and sleeping soundly is currently just a thought. Office work sounds like a vacation. Whining and complaining.

When she cries and screams at me, oh well, yeah she does scream at me and she is only two months old, I feel like giving up and just sleep the crying off. But the first time that she looked at me and smiled after I said hi to her, wow, that would be something to really look forward to. How could I forget the reason why I quit my job? I resigned just to let my daughter feel that I will be there for her. Of course working moms won't agree, but for me, I want my daughter to look for me when she cries, go to me when she has some stories to tell, chooses to spend her spare time with me, and delight in my presence. And for me this all starts asap. How can I stop her cries if I do not understand what hurts and upsets her? How can we share stories if I lose the time to listen to her? How can we enjoy spending time together if we have outgrown each other? How can she delight in my presence if she already feels I won't make any difference at all? So I am a SAHM. I am very lucky that I have a husband who supports what I want. And very blessed that he wants it too.

So now that she is two months, she stays close when I cuddle her at night. And she sleeps on top of me, contentedly. She falls back to sleep when she hears my humming, well sometimes. She amazes me. For now, I am okay with a few minutes for all (with stress) of my hobbies.

And if the shoe doesn't fit? I'll try on a pair of sneakers or flip flops. Or I can walk motherhood with bare feet. All with God's grace.

Cheers to all moms and moms-to-be!