lost

Heavy clouds loomed above me. I fell more alone seeing the gloomy sky... You're gone... You felw to someone else's arm.

I love you. I have fallen for you... your ways. When you talk and tell me things, even the littlest things are treasured, simple tings that grew big insde me. The memories of the smile and the laughter we have shared heal my pain. When you look at me... I feel already loved. But not anymore...

Now that you've intriduced me to your girl, Maita. Now it's not just the two of us, she now walks with us. I don't like it. I know you more than she does, but she walks closer with you. I know you longer but she holds your hand. I know I love you more but she owns you. I feel my chest getting heavy, I feel like crying for the nth time, but I most hold my tears.

Looking away... I asked myself... why did you search far? I was always with you. For a year, you sat beside me at class, dine with me, called me up and said anything... anything, even if they don't really matter. Every little things you gave me... the candy wrappingof the gum you gave me, the toothpaste sachet, and with the rest of the memorabilia hidden on the box you gave me were our pictures as buddies.

I thought you like me too... don't you? I felt it, when we danced at the parties we attended, when you wrap your arms around my shoulder when a guy gets near me, and when you walked me to the door when you took me home, and you even tried to... oh, was that it? Did I scare you away? Did I send the wrong signal? When I moved away and just shook your hand and said, "thank you, its nice having you around," instead of pulling you closer and kissing you goodnight.

Rain fell... I feel cold... I pulled my coat tighter... a tear fell. Maybe I messed that magical moment. I should've shown what I am feeling. I should've been sweet, I should've moved closer to you that night. Can't that be experienced again? I lost you... I lost you...

I looked down on a pool of water and wished that Chris loves me too. I looked up and said goodbye to the pair beside me, her face was beaming... Chris' was wet with rain.

While inside the bus, I keep telling myself that if Maita would go, I'd still be here, loving my man... but what if she stayed long... and what if someone fills me?